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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29051679">Amethyst and Crimson</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Epic_Glitter/pseuds/Epic_Glitter'>Epic_Glitter</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Lesbian Character, F/F, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, post-episode 122</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:55:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,694</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29051679</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Epic_Glitter/pseuds/Epic_Glitter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In the late night hours after their date, Beau wakes up from a strange nightmare. Yasha tries to stay strong for her as the stressed-out monk slowly realizes the danger she's in. Come what may, they stand ready to fight for their love and their future...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Beauregard Lionett/Yasha</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Amethyst and Crimson</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This entire work is Part II of a fic, and I haven’t released Part I yet. Here’s some Part I info that will help this one make more sense:</p><p>Fic diverges from canon just before tower events of Episode 122. Beau and Yasha started their date and had the “yes we’re gfs” convo in a pocket dimension accessed from Caleb’s tower. It’s more-or-less a copy of parts of Wildemount from Beau’s youth. There, they set camp in an open field to spend the night together.</p><p>The rest of the M9 is back in Caleb’s tower. Fic begins late the same night.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b>26 Brussendar, 836 P.D.<br/>
</b> <b>Zemni Fields, NE of Kamordah, Western Wynandir (tower illusion)</b></p>
<hr/><p>Yasha lay on her side, her muscular arms wrapped around her girlfriend from behind, snuggled together with only the large bedroll’s fabric between their bare skin and the starlit sky above. Each of her broad hands easily covered Beau’s, their fingers still lightly intertwined long after the monk drifted off.</p><p>A strange sensation swept through Yasha as she felt the slow rise and fall of Beau’s chest, expanding against her embrace with each life-giving breath and releasing again. Something about this closeness, the brave and brilliant woman she’d admired from afar for so long just <em>rest</em><em>ing</em> there so comfortably, filled her own heart with fluttering softness.</p><p>She recognized it, but only from distant memories. Echoes from a different life.</p><p>Until now, she’d thought she was too broken to feel it again:</p><p><em>Tenderness</em>.</p><p>Warm, wobbly, transcendent, and a little bit scary.</p><p>But for now, even the scary part didn’t matter so much. She lay still and took the feeling in, all of it, letting the rhythm of her breaths line up with Beau’s and refusing to fight the teardrop forming at the corner of her amethyst eye.</p><p>She couldn’t remember the last time she’d shed tears of gratitude, but she welcomed the release.</p><p>A few minutes later, as the trickle along her cheek slowed, she inched away from Beau enough to turn her head and look at their surroundings. The field of wildflowers stretched beyond her vision in every direction, hundreds of petals bending in gentle waves with the breeze that carried their light, earthy fragrance.</p><p>Peaceful.</p><p>Shifting her gaze back to Beau, her lips spread to a wide smile, basking in the lingering afterglow of their passionate union. Hazy memories of sensual glances, grasping hands, sliding tongues and unfolding wings… Parts of the night replayed in her mind, sending warm tingles of giddy delight racing through her arms and chest, coursing down to her thighs.</p><p>
  <em>Bliss.</em>
</p><p>Even before they’d made love, through the whole date, they just <em>fit.</em></p><p>Not bad for their first time! Not her first time, of course, or Beau’s – gods no, she knew that. But their <em>first</em> meant a new beginning. If they survived somehow, if they had the chance to forge a future, they could do it <em>together</em>.</p><p>Dizzying to think that she could feel this whole, this connected, this <em>alive</em> again.</p><p>It didn’t have to end!</p><p>She pulled her slumbering lover a little closer, careful not to wake her, and kissed the back of Beau’s head – just at the tip of her glistening, moonlit jasmine dust tattoo. She’d wanted this for so long! She’d imagined these moments, dreamt about them, spent weeks trying to convince herself she was worthy of this… worthy of <em>her</em>.</p><p>As the thought crossed her mind, she heard a deep, distant rumble from somewhere over the Cyrios Mountains. A far-off flash lit the western sky, half-obscured by the silhouette of Mount Mentiri, before all fell to silence and stillness again.</p><p>A message. A memory of a dream.</p><p>
  <em>Loss can instead teach what’s important.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It offers perspective. It offers focus. Might. The courage to protect what has not yet been lost.</em>
</p><p>She knew all too well, caring for someone was a risk. A challenge. She’d struggled to let herself open up again, but on a night like this, she <em>knew</em>. So much of her strength came from the incredibly resilient, stealthily thoughtful woman sleeping soundly in her arms. The one who'd seen her at her worst, and still believed in her. The one she’d promised never to run from again.</p><p><em>Both</em> of them were worth it.</p><p>With that thought, she gave Beau’s hand a gentle squeeze, rested her head, and let her thoughts rest with it.</p>
<hr/><p>Just as Yasha finally closed her eyes, ready to let the sublime evening slip away, she felt Beau’s shoulders trembling.</p><p>“Oh… um, Beau?” she whispered, pausing to let out a slow, silent yawn. “Hey. You awake?”</p><p>A low, wavering moan rose from the back of Beau’s throat, unsettling and strained as a wounded cub. Her whole body was shaking now, and her teeth chattering, but no other reply came.</p><p>Yasha let go of Beau’s right hand and quickly propped herself up on her elbow, peeking over from behind to see her face. The monk’s eyes were still closed, but her brow and nose were scrinched to a pained, almost panicked expression. In fact, every muscle in Beau’s body was tensing up, and the shaking grew worse with each passing moment.</p><p>“Beau? Beau, can you hear me? If you can hear me, just… just try to breathe, ok?”</p><p>Again, no reply.</p><p>Instinct took hold, and Yasha shifted her gaze to check on their weapons. They’d dropped most of their gear a few yards away, but she spotted their two main weapons laying side-by-side within’s arms’ reach: simulated moonlight reflected off the rune-marked blade of her Magician’s Judge and the surface of the Belabor, Beau’s long metallic staff.</p><p>Under her breath, she offered a quick prayer to the Stormlord as she lifted her eyes to the surrounding meadow and listened for any sound beyond Beau’s shivering, chattering, and shallow breaths.</p><p>No signs of life.</p><p>They were still completely alone out here.</p><p>If the cause of Beau's distress wasn't 'out there,' if it came from within... Well, from experience, she knew those foes could be just as difficult to fight off.</p><p>Laying back down, she pushed strands of loose hair out of Beau’s face, tucking them behind her ear as she continued to shudder. Wrapping her in a close embrace, Yasha tried to keep her own voice steady as she slowly rocked her girlfriend back and forth.</p><p>“Guess I’m not the only one who gets nightmares now… but it’s just a dream, right? You’re ok. You’re gonna be ok.”</p><p>She wasn’t fooling herself – Beau was still fast asleep, and Yasha was trying just as hard to calm herself. Before their date, they’d spent over a week venturing through ancient, twisted, magical ruins with the man who wore Molly’s visage. That <em>could</em> have planted nightmares in their minds. Probably did.</p><p>But months ago, some of Yasha’s most chilling nightmares had actually come true. Worst of all, the ones where she turned her blade on the ones she cared for… <strong>no</strong>, she couldn’t let herself think about <em>that.</em></p><p>Had to stay focused. The past was behind them – this was supposed to be their new start! And Beau needed her <em>now</em>, right here.</p><p>“Breathe, love. Breathe,” she whispered, “I got you. Whatever messed up stuff you’re seeing? They’ll have to get through <em>me</em> first. And I promise this won’t scare me off. I told you, no matter <em>what</em> happens, I’m not leaving. Not again.”</p><p>“Mmmm...” Beau hummed in her sleep as her body gradually relaxed and her breathing evened out. Within minutes, the nightmare seemed to pass completely.</p><p>“That’s it, good. Think of... um, remember Nicodranas? By the shore? In and out, like the tide. You got this,” Yasha said as she felt her own tension start to drain away. “Just rest, now. If you need me, I’m here.”</p><p>As thick clouds passed over the moons and Yasha’s own consciousness started slipping away from the waking world, she felt sweat forming in her left palm Beau’s hand grew warmer within her own. It was only distracting for the first, passing moment, nearly hot enough to burn. But in her half-asleep daze, Yasha didn't move, and the heat slowly eased to a lower, more bearable intensity.</p><p>Not a big deal. Just different, something she’d get used to. Back when she lived in the wastelands, she was always outside in the humidity, always a little sweaty.</p><p>At least here, limbs entangled and surrounded by flowers, she had a <em>much </em>nicer view…</p><p>“Goodnight, Beau.”</p>
<hr/><p>“Oww! What the hell?” Yasha said as her eyes shot open, just in time to see Beau’s elbow withdrawn from her face. “That was my nose!”</p><p>“Welc… uh, Yasha? Holy fuck!” she replied, kneeling with her back turned away and her arms flailing wildly, searching the space around their bedroll. There was a low, breathless intensity in her words as she went on, her voice barely above a whisper. “Freezing cold darkness and then so much <em>r</em><em>ed</em> and… where are we? I need my notebook. I can’t see <em>shit</em>!”</p><p>“Whoa, hey,” Yasha said, quickly climbing out of the bedroll. She winced, rubbed her throbbing nose, and stood between her broadsword and the pile of gear they’d tossed nearby. “Be careful, okay? I think… um, I’m pretty sure you just <em>hit</em> me.”</p><p>“There were patterns, and eyes… I<em> know</em> I can figure it out if I just write this all- wait, what?”</p><p>Beau turned slightly, craning her neck to look in the direction of the stunned aasimar's voice.</p><p>Even in the dim shades of grey Yasha's darkvision allowed, seeing the naked monk’s lithe, athletic form through the darkness sent a rush of warmth to her face. She drew a silent gasp, watching. The muscles of her girlfriend’s neck and shoulders stretched, slightly warping her tattoo and a few of her battle scars, as her handsome face and striking eyes came into view.</p><p>Yasha’s brief, infatuated trance broke as she realized there was something different about those eyes. The wide-eyed expression was familiar enough. She’d seen it before, when Beau was putting clues together, explaining her theories, her mind connecting dots faster than a bolt of Kord's own fury.</p><p>But she couldn’t remember Beau’s eyes ever <em>glowing</em>.</p><p>She’d notice a thing like that, right?</p><p>Yasha stared at the faint luminescence in her pupils as she began speaking again.</p><p>“I <em>hit</em> you? When? I mean… Shit, I’m sorry. You OK?”</p><p>“Well, Expositor… those arms <em>are</em> deadly weapons, you know,” Yasha said, forcing a bit of nervous laughter. “But I’ve had worse. Um. I’m more worried about<em> you</em>.”</p><p>“Me?”</p><p>“You were shaking a little in your sleep, that’s all. And you seem a bit freaked out-”</p><p>“Yeah, I… look, babe, it’ll be fine. I’m f-fine. I <em>did </em>have this vision... er, dream, whatever. Felt pretty fucking real. Anyway, if I can remember, try to put all together... I just gotta write this shit down, ok?” Beau started to turn back around, failing to hide the hint of desperation in her tone. “I’ll explain <em>everything</em> soon. After I find my notebook. And my goggles!”</p><p>“I’ll see what I can do about that last part.”</p><p>Yasha paused, rubbing her swollen nose and pushing away the aching pain as she listened. An uncomfortable chill ran up her spine, adding to her growing sense that something seemed <em>off.</em></p><p>With a steady, determined grip, she picked up the Magician’s Judge and lifted it into the air, pointing the tip down and thrusting it about a foot deep into the soil with a heavy grunt.</p><p>The ground trembled with the impact, shaking loose petals free from the closest flowers.</p><p>With a deep breath, she pushed herself to relax and concentrate. Calling to mind a few memories held close to her heart, she channeled them to direct her celestial energies. The moments flashed quickly as she held tight to the sword: slinging Beau over her shoulder under a circus tent and taking her to her seat; opening her heart through the bone harp’s strings in front of a cheering crowd; spreading her feathered wings and carrying Beau on their first flight together.</p><p>Right on cue, her hand warmed against the sword’s hilt and crossguard, tingling slightly as she finished the spell.</p><p>When she stepped away, the sword stuck up from the ground at an angle – still nearly as tall as Beau – and cast a brilliant glow of divine light stretching over a wide radius around them.</p><p>“Our stuff’s over here,” Yasha said, heaving a couple labored breaths from the exertion and flashing a small, satisfied smile over lighting that spark of divine magic for her girlfriend. “Most of it, anyway. I think some of our clothes got tossed pretty far off last night…”</p><p>“Huh?” Beau faced into the light, blinking and shielding her eyes with one hand as she stood up. When her eyes adjusted, they darted to her leather bag, where a dark blue notebook cover’s corner peeked out from within. A relieved expression washed over her as she hurried towards it, standing on her toes to kiss Yasha’s cheek and playfully squeezing her shoulder as she passed by. “Have I ever told you you’re fucking amazing!”</p><p>“I… uh, thanks. I mean,” Yasha stammered, caught between giddiness from Beau’s affection, and lingering concern. “Just trying to help. You’re pretty amazing, too, you know…”</p><p>“I know.” Beau said with a too-confident laugh, still letting the cracks show. Grabbing the notebook and a pen, she immediately sat on her grey cloak and began to write under the sword’s illumination. “I got it! Gimme a couple minutes, yeah?”</p><p>“Yeah. I’ll, um… I guess I’ll get us packed up,” Yasha said, her eyes resting on Beau for an extra beat. Her back was turned, her tattoo gleaming in the dazzling light as she frantically pressed pen to parchment in continuous, shaky strokes.</p><p>Under the intense glow, even Beau’s older scars were easily visible, with the largest catching Yasha’s eye: a long, gnarled vertical gash from a certain rust-colored glaive.</p><p>She pulled her eyes away, shaking off the terrible memory.</p><p>She couldn’t change, or forget, any of the devastation she caused. The people she’d hurt, and worse… Controlled or not, it was hers to bear. She’d known that from the day her family helped break her free. But she was finally ready for a new start,<em> both</em> her and Beau, together. They’d talked about it, agreed to try. So whatever was happening <em>now</em>, she had to keep her girlfriend safe – that much was clear.</p><p>As Beau remained transfixed on her writing, Yasha gathered the pieces of their clothing that lay strewn around their makeshift camp and got dressed.</p><p>Gods, what they shared just hours ago… it was intense, and beautiful, and hot as the Nine Hells! Her and Beau had opened up to each other so completely, and connected so deeply, beyond her highest hopes for their first night together.</p><p>Those moments played over in her mind as she rolled up the bedroll, biting her lip at each new memory of fiercely making love with Beau in their field of wildflowers, showered in moonlight.</p><p>She’d felt alive, <em>finally</em>, and full of such pure, absolute pleasure!</p><p>And she’d made Beau feel incredible, too. Like she deserved. The way Beau whispered her name, the tension and release in each perfectly toned muscle…</p><p>Yasha shot a longing glance at Beau, still bent over her notebook, muttering something to herself.</p><p>
  <em>I just wanna kiss her so bad…</em>
</p><p>She wanted to, but whatever Beau was scrawling across the open pages seemed important. With a sigh, she resolved to give her space, packing up the rest of their gear and placing Beau’s clothes in a loose pile next to the bags.</p><p>It’s only the beginning, she told herself. If they survived all this, they could have a lot more time together.</p><p>Thank the gods they had <em>any </em>time at all…</p><p>For now, as her mind kept drifting back to Beau’s disturbed sleep and the change in her eyes, that nagging sense of unease wouldn’t leave. She needed to <em>do </em>something.</p><p>“I’ll be back in a few. Shout if you need me,” Yasha said, hearing a distracted hum in reply.</p><p>Picking up her Skingorger blade from the gear pile, she stepped beyond the light’s glow, keeping Beau just at the edge of her sight. Looking out into the darkness, she walked a slow perimeter and searched for anything moving, anything that could hurt them. Back when Beau explained that Caleb created all of this, that there weren’t any threats here, Yasha had believed her-</p><p>Yet.</p><p>She just wanted to be <em>sure</em>.</p><p>When had they ever found a place that was <em>completely</em> safe? The Mighty Nein had made powerful enemies, left some loose ends, and she’d learned. To protect them, she couldn’t let her guard down.</p><p>She couldn’t let it happen again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi! Thanks for reading. This is the end of Chapter 1, hopefully with more to come. Not super polished, but wanted to get some of it out before tonight's episode. Anyway - we're gonna get through this - see ya on the other side! &lt;3</p><p>p.s. comments are welcome - just don't be a dick :)<br/></p></blockquote></div></div>
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